Podcast host Dave Neal recently began an Instagram video by stating that he didn’t want to “ruffle feathers with the moms or dads of Instagram.” Then he did just that.
In the now-viral reel, Neal and his wife, Tasha Courtney, are at a restaurant with their 8-week-old son, August, who is nursing quietly under a cover.
“I have that opinion that if you let your kid use a tablet or a screen while out to dinner, you’re not a bad parent, but it’s bad parenting,” Neal, 39, says. The camera pans to Courtney.
“Thoughts?” Neal asks.
“I think I want us to be a coloring book family,” Courtney, 37, replies.
The couple, who live in Nashville, Tennessee, then reminisce about the days when they would go out to eat and draw pictures on paper tablecloths.
“I didn’t expect this to blow up the way it did — I got bashed in the comments,” Neal tells TODAY.com. “But I think people were triggered because they know I’m onto something, and they feel guilty.”
“Lol. You’re a newbie. You got no clue what’s coming my guy,” Gader Ibrahim, a mom of three, wrote after watching Neal’s video.
“New parents have this misconception of parenthood when they’re at the newborn stage — and they think that every other parent doesn’t know what they’re doing,” Ibrahim tells TODAY.com, noting that Neal and Courtney’s baby, “can’t even move yet.”
Ibrahim laughs as she remembers pledging to keep her first born off of screens.
“And now here I am, three kids later, and (I) would do anything to have peace and quiet at a restaurant,” she says. “So here you go child, here’s your iPad. Here’s your Playstation. Here’s a whole TV setup.”
Other reactions included:
- “Ha …. And I mean this with my whole heart and so much love … ha ha ha haaaa ha ha haaa ha ha ha haaaaa ha haaaaaaa ha haaaaaaa ha ha ha haaaaaa ha ha haaaaaa ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaa xx.”
- “Give it 10 years and you’ll be mourning the ideal parent you thought you’d be, too.”
- “We also once thought we’d never co-sleep (writes this with a 4 year old in my bed). I also once said they’d never have sugar. And we laughed and we laughed and we laughed.”
- “If you have the mental toughness to exist in a restaurant with young ones squirming and crying then you should be fine. If you can’t handle the looks and pressure from other people, welcome to the bad parenting club!”
- “Come back in 18 months and tell me how that’s working out for ya.”
Both Neal and Courtney have done their research. While chatting with TODAY, they cite “The Anxious Generation,” by social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, who argues that smartphones are causing a mental health crisis.
Courtney notes that the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that babies under 18 months old have no screen time.
“If we don’t introduce screens in the first place, it’s probably going to be easier in the longer term,” Courtney tells TODAY.com. “I really want to foster in August, the ability to be creative.”
Courtney and Neal don’t bring devices in their bedroom, and have scheduled time each day where they put their technology down and focus on each other.
“I made my own personal pledge to not use my phone when August is awake,” Courtney says “Nothing is more important than him.”
Neal further explained himself in an Instagram video on July 7.
“I’m probably bitter than I was raised on such a high carb and high sugar diet. I’ve spent my adult life trying to rewire how I see food. I can’t imagine how tough it must be to raise kids who throw temper tantrums til you hand over their Nintendo Switch,” Neal wrote. “If I go device free with my kids, does this mean my dinners might have less ‘adult convos’ because I need to incorporate a child into the conversation? Maybe. Does it mean I’ll have to rush through dinner faster because my child’s attention span can’t handle 5 courses? Sure.”
“We just want what’s best for the baby,” Courtney tells TODAY.com.
